If you’ve got a teenager at home, you know how overwhelming their lives can get—between school, sports, friends, hobbies, and, let’s be honest, social media. Teens often feel like there’s not enough time in the day, and you might feel like you’re constantly reminding them about deadlines or pushing them to stay on track. Sound familiar?
Here’s the thing: setting priorities is a skill that can be taught, and it’s one of the most important lessons you can pass on to your teen. It will not only help them manage their time but also give them a sense of control over their busy lives. Let’s dive into some practical ways you can help your teen figure out what really matters—and how to make it a priority—without the usual eye-rolling or resistance.
1. Show Them How You Do It
Ever notice how much your teen mirrors your behavior, even when you don’t realize it? That’s why one of the best ways to teach them how to prioritize is to show them how you do it. Let them in on how you plan your day, why you prioritize certain things, and how you balance your responsibilities with downtime.
For example, you could say, “I have a ton to do today, but I’m starting with this report because it’s due tomorrow. After that, I’ll get to the emails that can wait.” This way, they see how you make decisions and learn that prioritizing is all about making choices—not just being super busy.
2. Help Them Separate Urgent From Important
Teens can get caught up in the urgency of things that aren't actually important (hello, endless texting!). Helping them distinguish between what’s urgent and what’s important can be a game changer. Explain that urgent tasks are time-sensitive, like finishing homework for tomorrow, while important tasks are the ones that impact their bigger goals, like studying for that SAT in a few weeks.
Ask them to think about their tasks like this: “Will this matter next week? Next month?” It might help them see that not every message or social media notification needs immediate attention!
3. Talk About Their Goals
Teens are more likely to prioritize things if they see the bigger picture. Help them define what they’re working toward, whether it’s getting better grades, making the varsity team, or saving for something they really want. Once they have some clear goals, it becomes easier for them to figure out what deserves their time and attention.
Maybe you could ask them, “What do you really want to achieve this month? How can you make sure you’re spending your time in a way that helps you get there?” When they know what they want, prioritizing becomes less of a chore and more of a personal choice.
4. Use the Eisenhower Matrix (It’s Easier Than It Sounds!)
Here’s a simple tool that’s great for helping anyone—teens included—figure out what’s really important. It’s called the Eisenhower Matrix. Don’t worry, it’s not complicated! You just divide tasks into four categories:
Urgent and Important (Do these first)
Important but Not Urgent (Schedule these)
Urgent but Not Important (Try to minimize or delegate these)
Not Urgent, Not Important (Skip or limit these)
Show your teen how to categorize their to-dos this way. It helps them break down that overwhelming list of tasks and focus on what matters most. Plus, it’s a cool visual tool they can use to organize their time.
5. Set Healthy Limits on Technology
Let’s face it—phones, gaming, and social media are huge distractions. While you don’t want to be the “bad guy” banning technology, you can help your teen learn how to manage it. Talk to them about setting boundaries for screen time and show them how technology fits into their overall priorities.
Maybe suggest something like, “Why not block off an hour to relax and catch up on your favorite shows, but after you finish your homework?” It’s all about balance and learning that fun can still fit in when they’ve handled the important stuff first.
6. Work on Time Management Together
Teens often struggle with managing time, which leads to procrastination—and stress! Sit down together and map out a weekly schedule that includes everything: school, hobbies, social time, and downtime. It doesn’t need to be rigid, but having a plan can help them see where their time is going and what adjustments need to be made.
Apps, planners, or even a simple to-do list can be great tools for tracking tasks. At the end of the week, you can sit down and chat about what went well and what could be better next week. It’s a great opportunity for growth, not a critique session!
7. Celebrate Progress—Not Perfection
Learning to prioritize is a skill, and like any skill, it takes practice. Your teen won’t get it right every time, and that’s okay! Instead of focusing on what didn’t go well, celebrate their efforts and progress. If they got their homework done before going out with friends, or scheduled time to study for an upcoming test, recognize that as a win.
You can say, “I saw how you chose to study before hanging out with your friends this weekend—great job prioritizing!” This encourages them to keep at it, without feeling like they have to be perfect.
8. Create a Supportive Environment
Finally, foster an environment where your teen feels supported, not micromanaged. Encourage open conversations about their schedule, priorities, and any challenges they face. It’s important to give them the space to make their own decisions, even if they make mistakes. After all, that’s how they’ll learn.
Ask questions like, “What do you think is the most important thing you need to get done this week?” Let them take the lead, but be there to guide and support them if they need it.
Helping your teen set priorities isn’t about being the “priority police.” It’s about teaching them how to take charge of their time and responsibilities in a way that makes sense to them. By modeling good habits, encouraging goal-setting, and using tools like the Eisenhower Matrix, you’ll empower them to become more organized, independent, and confident in their decisions.
Remember, it’s a process. Progress is the goal, not perfection. Each small step your teen takes in learning how to prioritize is setting them up for success—not just now, but for life.
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All the best to you on your parenting journey
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